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Showing posts from June, 2012

360: Severing, Feeling, Regenerating

Exactly one year ago I sat immobilized in my living room physically numb after my life was severed by divorce decree. Always the procrastinator, I had practiced the "maybe it will get better" mantra every night for 9 years until I no longer believed such a blanket of gibberish and plunged into divorce. I had no doubt that I'd survive the loss but still, never anticipated the enormous pain, which was more than a constant throbbing (and which, thank God, disappeared half a year later). It was worse than dental issues. At least the dentist provides novacaine. The only medicines we have for emotional healing are time and prayer...but for me, not hope , because still, I don't trust that word in any relationship context. I don't know that I'll ever recycle it. After three months of no communication with me, my ex had a bit of a meltdown, flattened by a breakup with his new girlfriend (it -- their breakup -- was temporary). Whether it was stupid of m