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Showing posts from June, 2012

360: Severing, Feeling, Regenerating

Exactly one year ago I sat immobilized in my living room physically numb after my life was severed by divorce decree. Always the procrastinator, I had practiced the "maybe it will get better" mantra every night for 9 years until I no longer believed such a blanket of gibberish and plunged into divorce.

I had no doubt that I'd survive the loss but still, never anticipated the enormous pain, which was more than a constant throbbing (and which, thank God, disappeared half a year later). It was worse than dental issues. At least the dentist provides novacaine. The only medicines we have for emotional healing are time and prayer...but for me, not hope, because still, I don't trust that word in any relationship context. I don't know that I'll ever recycle it.

After three months of no communication with me, my ex had a bit of a meltdown,
flattened by a breakup with his new girlfriend (it -- their breakup -- was temporary). Whether it was stupid of me or s…